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DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite
thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed
and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00
pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00
pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00
pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My
favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day
983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly
on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make
my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The
only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them,
I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped
its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that
my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
This
morning I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more
than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe
him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now... |
